LEXOPHILIA part II
Posted Friday, December 18, 2015 02:57 PM
 
LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?
Why, a lexophile of course!
 
 
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
 
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
 
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
 
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
 
• Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
 
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
 
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
 
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
 
• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
 
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
 
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
 
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
 
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
 
• When chemists die, they barium.
 
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
 
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
 
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
 
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
 
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
 
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
 
• Broken pencils are pointless.
 
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
 
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
 
• All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
 
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
 
• Velcro - what a rip off!
 
• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.